i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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