you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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