An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
