how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
