is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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