Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
