they need to just BURY HIM!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just high enough for therapy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
