I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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