Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize