quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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