You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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