i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
