Me too!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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