i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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