I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize