Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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