She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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