doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
