Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
