we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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