dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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