i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
