Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
