i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
