how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
