i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i need some magic done to my vagina
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
