Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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