Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
