if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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