Sry I called you an 8
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
