i barfeds in our rink
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
