well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
