How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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