This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
