you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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