Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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