just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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