Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
