i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
