Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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