glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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