Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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