butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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