i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
