we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dignity is for republicans.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
