Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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