it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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