to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
