Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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