Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
