Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
