You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
