I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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