i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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