My room smells like vodka and shame
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
