dude i'm inner monologue high
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
